November 14th : Dear Diary

Dear diary,

“I’m gonna love you like I never lose you, I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye ...”

Chorus part of the song sung by Meghan Trainor continued playing on my Phone. It was my alarm clock telling that it was already 6.15am. Lazily, I rose up from my cozy soft bed and grabbed on my Oppo with Blue cover hand phone and stopped the alarm and put my drowsy head back to my white covered pillow.

I am not a morning type person. I, purposely, switch on three different alarms in my phone every day – Monday to Sunday as a reminder to me that I need to wake up. I remember when I was little, my mom became my alarm clock. She used to knock on my bedroom wall every morning and yelled at me asking to wake up and prepare for school. ( Now my phone alarm replaced my mom’s yelling).

First alarm at 6.15am

Second alarm at 6.30am

Third alarm set  at 6.45am

Normally, the first and second alarm are only warm up alarms for me as I either snooze on it or dismiss it. The final alarm is the real one which warning me its almost 7.00am and I need to prepare for work – This has become my daily routine till today.

It was Friday ( Weekend for Northern State). I supposed to wake up and go for an early morning jogging but laziness overcame the battle and I decided to continue my sleep again until my phone rang.

“Who is the lucky person to call early in the morning?” I murmured.

Deliberately, I let the call unanswered. It rang again and vibrated non-stop. I grabbed on the phone and looked at the caller.

Rebecca Church – The caller name appeared on the screen. Rebecca is one of those active parishioners who always get involved in every activity or event held in the church. Though she has very bold and strong personality, however, everyone is tired by her arguing behavior and I am no exception.

“Hello...” I answered.

“Good Morning, Ang, are you still sleeping?” I heard a very fresh and energetic voice from the edge of the phone.

“Good Morning Rebecca,” I replied with a “Just wake-up” voice with both eyes still closing.

“Please, come early to the church, today. Can you?”

“What is the event today?” I asked immediately.

“You didn't read the church bulletin didn't you? Its communion mass today and I need you to help with the LCD. There is a girl who is in-charge of it but I need to help her,” she said.

“What time is the mass?”

“9.00am but please come early. Can you?”

“Okay fine. I am about to sleep back but yeah sure!!. I’ll see you at the church.”

“See You.”

“Urghhh!!” I grumbled after the phone call ended. I looked at the time on my phone and was 7.15am.

Yawning like a little girl with mouth open wide and both hands risen up I sprang up from the bed, grabbed my towel and went to the washing room and had a refreshing good morning shower.

I wish that I am to be able to wake up early every morning, go for a jog before doing any other activities since I am aware that my health is decreasing recently. Moreover, Exercise is important not only to keep one’s body fit but is also a positive way of starting the day – Duh!! ... How I wish so.

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Children, girls and boys are dressed up in white. They look beautiful in the angelic form (except they dint have wings). In Catholic life, ones need to pass through five vital sacraments : Baptism , Communion, Confirmation, Marriage / Priesthood (Optional) and death. As a grown up Catholic, i remember i was baptist when i was a baby girl, Went for catechism class every Sunday ( also known as Sunday school) – where we’re taught about the Bible and the love of Jesus, Receiving the Holy Communion at the age of Twelve and haven’t done the Confirmation yet until today.

Looking at how cheerful and beautiful the children are, every memories of the stages of my growing up come fresh in my mind and i chuckle on all those beautiful memories of how i walk down confidently to the altar in white dress with a vault on the head, receiving my first holy communion.

“Children are innocent. They are not afraid of making mistake which make them very innocent, captivating and attractive. At this age, they are at the stage of heroics where they learn from someone they assume as a hero to them. They Don’t throw judgement on others but they earn by imitating whoever that influence them.” Fr. Mark started his homily.

Its surprised me when I was just thinking the same things as what Fr. Mark had just said. True indeed, children never really care if they do wrong or not, as their curiosity is much more bigger than the consequences. Expectation are not in their life’s dictionary yet, and lying is the last choice they have – in fact children never lie only grown up good at telling lies.

‘I want to live like a little child, full of curiosity, care less about others expectation and out of judgmental thought,’ my inner self voiced out her needs.

“Huh!” I signed and let go of my thought.

“The more you show love, the more you will be happy in life ..” Fr. Mark concluded his sermon.

The sermons was so inspiring and spiritually uplifting. I managed to listen attentively to every words spoken by Fr. Mark and I learnt a great lesson that day – Be like a little child and love unconditionally.

~Mea~

*Edited by Mr. F

Love and Bicycle

LIFE STORY INVOLVING  BICYCLE

This evening while riding on a bicycle at the church compound ... (it's belong to the church and i sometimes will spend my evening riding on it) i remembered my love life story back in University time and the memory was so strong and i decided to write a story about it. Story begins...

Love and Bicycle

Henry and I were in the University Cycling Club together. We were in the third semester that year which was the only class and the only University Club where we were together. Henry was a Law student and I was of Finance.

Even our faculties were near but since we were in the different study fields, we never had a class together. However, we never missed the opportunity to meet during lunch hour - depended on our timetables. 

University life was always tough where he was the only person that I could rely on. That was our third year together as a couple too. Cycling Club was the spot where we had to choose  our Social Science compulsory subject in order to get credit in all the others subjects. 

As usual, every Saturday there used to be Social Science class where we always went together. The theoretical subjects we took inside the classroom while practical subjects were taken outside.

Henry was elected as the vice president and I as secretary of the club. (The entire class voted for me because I was Henry's girlfriend!!). Even though Henry did not think so but I did.

One day, we were busying "practical" and our lecturer, Mr. A, divided us into two teams. I was in team A and Henry in team B. I was very much excited as I loved practical than theory. Practical made me happy and theory left me bored.

After a short briefing by Mr.A, he allowed the team A to start riding first. The distance was not too far. Each team had to travel through the same route which would take about twenty minutes to complete the ride. I was very much excited...Team A had to go first so I was in the team which meant to do the riding first!!

Jessica P.O.V

Yeah I was in team A which meant to ride first. I chose the bicycle for my ride and looked at him. He smiled and nodded which I understood to indicated the bicycle suited perfect.“He is so sweet,” I though and smiled back. He shrugged. I made a cute baby face at him. He laughed and I always loved when he did so.

I felt blessed for having him as my boyfriend. Wearing tenderness and care on his face as it seemed that  he did not want me to cycle without him by my side. But I was not going to be alone as I was in team and being a mature person I could take care of myself.

"Ney!Are you ready?" He asked.

(Ney is the short form of "Honey" and we both used the same term to interact with each other)

"Yep I am," I replied.

"I will be fine," I said to him showing my happy and excited face while hooping on the bicycle.

"Yeah you will," He replied back.

In a second, sitting on the bicycle ready to paddle without looking at him I balanced myself and started paddling.

"Be careful Ney," He shouted at me.

The other team members were already paddling in front of me and I needed to catch up with them. I was so excited as itn was going to be a twenty minutes ride. all I wanted was to enjoy the ride and reach the finishing point with the team.

I love cycling. Its the easiest sport that I am able to do. Apart from cycling, I love climbing (but never did rock climbing ever in my life). I also like to play ball .... volleyball and basketball but I had the incident during my secondary school  when accidentally twisted my little finger while catching the ball. It swelled badly and I was in pain for two weeks.

Since then I determined never to participate in any sport activities involving ball. That was also the reason why my left hand’s little finger could not grow to its original form but got fat and short.

“I like it as it makes me different from others.”

Though I was not really good with cycling ... Good as professional cyclists but I knew how to balance myself and paddle...at least I had something that I loved doing and was able to do. I was proud of myself.

While paddling and enjoying the surrounding, I carelessly made myself out of balance and ...

"urgghhh!!!!" I fell down from my bicycle. I was in panic for a while. Few of the team members stopped and helped me out. I  had  scratches on my knee and elbow. Overcame with my excitement, I did not feel the horrible pain yet it was bleeding. Such incident was normal during sport. I thanked the team members who helped and said "No worry, I am okay.” I hooped on the bicycle again and started paddling again. That time slowly and carefully. Slowly, I paddled and paddled without care much about my wounds and finally yeah!! I was the last person to reach the ending point. what a shame!! There, he was standing waiting for me and when he saw me,  he rushed towards me. 

"Are you okay ney?" He asked. His face was tightened and worried.

"I am fine but I fell off the bike," I replied back showing him bleeding scratches.With a smile I told him that I was overexcited which got me overbalanced and I fell down.  

He led me to somewhere far from the others and scanned on my bleeding knee and elbow and comforted me.

"I knew it! I had a bad feeling earlier when you hooped on the bike and started paddling. I was worried. Then someone said  Ney fell down and was bleeding and I was so worried. Sit here and wait for my return," he said.  He patted on my shoulder and hooped on his bike to catch with the others from team B. 

"Be careful Ney,” I shouted at him.

Henry P.O.V

As I watched her hooped on the bike, I had uneasy feelings inside me telling that something bad would happen to her but I observed silence and yet I was worried.

"Ney, You ready?" I had asked.

"Yep I am," She had replied.

"I will be fine," she had said showing her happy and excited face while hooping on her bike.

"Yeah you will," I had replied.

She was in her position ready to paddle the bike. Without looking at me she balanced herself and started to paddle.

"Be careful Ney," I shouted in hope she could hear me.

As I watched her confidently and excitedly paddling, the strong sense of uneasiness and worries warned that something bad would happen to her kept bothering me but I told myself to stop worrying and let the feelings go.

'She will be just fine... don't think much,’ I forced my own deep voice to say these word as to affirm and to divert my negative feelings to positive one. It was going to be only twenty minutes ride and she would be fine!! But based on her character, she always acted confidently but sometimes could be very careless.

“She never really can tell when she is in danger and I feel bad that I am not paddling together with her,” I thought.

She always showed that confident, looked at me when doing something but ended up the other way round. She might think she could ride well but she didn't. That over excitement facial expression really bothered me.

I waited patiently for the team to reach the ending point. fifteen minutes passed, I could see some of the team members paddling fast to the last point. Twenty minutes passed, most of the team members were returning back. I was standing and looking for her appearance.

'She paddled too slow,' I shrugd with a little smile on my face.

"Henry, Your girlfriend fell off the bike and she's bleeding and is still paddling slowly behind," one of the members who just reached the ending point said to me and I started to worry again. 

“My instinct was correct. It was not my feelings but it was a warning that coming from my instinct. I don't know how I can have such strong instinct towards her. I must be very much in love with her since I am able to feel this way. Well, of course I love her,” I felt.

I waited patiently for her return when finally I saw her paddling hardly and slowly to reach the ending point.

And when I saw her coming slowly, I ran towards her and saw a nervous smile on her face. “Damn! is she smiling? she still acted as nothing happened,” I said.

"Are you okay Ney?" I ask with a worried look. 

"I am fine but I fell off from the bike," she replied back showing me he bleeding scratches. with a nervous voice she told me how she was overexcited which made her overbalanced and fell down.

Such a stubborn girl. She knew she was bleeding yet she manged to laugh as it was not serious at all. I helped her to get of her bike  and led her far from the others. I didn't care much of my surrounding but all I cared of  her scratches on the knee and elbow. She showed me her scratches.

"Did she know that i was worried about her? Does she know how deep in am involved in her, even to the extent that i can sense and predict the evil things which could happen to her? No, she doesn't because she is a girl and girl never understands such feelings."

"I knew it as I had a bad feeling earlier when you hooped on the bike and started paddling. I was worried, then one of them said you  had fallen down and was bleeding and I was so much worried. Sit here and waited for my return," I told her.

It was then  the team B turns to ride  and I patted on her shoulder, hooped on the bike and told her to wait for my return and started to paddle.

"Be careful Ney!" I heard her shouting at me from behind. I nodded and smiled at her last words and paddled fast to catch the others. 

                     ******************THE END OF LOVE & BICYCLE*************

~Mea~

** Story Edited by Mr. F

Buddha Guided Me To Be His Friend

I have over 1000 friends on Facebook, not to count those whom I "unfriended",  and 99+ more waiting for friendship approval. Scrolling over every friend requests, first, I check if I know him/her, and if yes ... depends on me to click the confirm button or not.

If the person is unknown, a total stranger, no mutual friendship, I look for his/her personal details...how many friends in his/her friends’ list, browsing through photos, his/her interest and every possible background that could be acquired. If every information is satisfying and my instinct shows that the person is not fake and worth a friendship, then  he/she is welcomed to my FB page.

Precaution needs to be taken seriously before making virtual friends as a lot of Cyber Crimes happen all around the globe. 

A women was jailed for becoming drug distributor and the investigation reports showed the she was forced by her husband/boyfriend (a foreigner met her online, fell in love, got married and ultimately, proved a drug distributor).

Similarly, several other unexpected stories about how two persons met on social media, became friends , fell in love and then got cheated. In my view, only those who are desperate and less confident having no common sense, fall under that spell. These are my personal point of views. 

As usual, one day when I opened my Facebook page, I found one new request poped out of my notifications. “Fazal Khaliq??” – no mutual friend, “no way to become a friend with a total stranger,” I whispered. However, when I peeped into his profile picture and information, I noted  Mingora was where he was from.

“Mingora?” I questioned.

Since my general knowledge is just at the level of a drop of water, I never really knew about that town’s (or should I calle it a city?) existence but my curiosity made my way to another new google window and word by word typing in it.

“Where is Mingora” –  Oh, he was a Pakistani. Mingora is situated in Pakistan. As far as I could remember, I did not even have one single friend from Pakistan.

“This must be another scam,” my cautious mind spoke in wonder.

“I am not done yet” another thought came alive telling me that it was totally based on biasness to judge people from their countries.

Browsing through and checking any possible information, I went to  the“About” section in his Facebook profile to look for movies he watches, types of music he likes and books he reads and also pages he was into.

“Well, most of the time, only honest persons share matters like that. For strangers who want to hide such information – “sorry, I am not interested in accepting such type of person,”I immediately decided.  

Buddha’s Brain : The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, love was one of the Pages that he “Liked” in his Facebook Profile and my instinct convyed to my brain, saying that the man was a good person since he reads the Buddha’s teaching - assumption that played in my mind. Another wire of the brain lit up making another assumption telling that he was an open minded type of person.

“Since, he is Pakistani (automatically a Muslim), yet he  likes the Buddha pages,” my mind was struck.

Soon I learnt that Buddha’s teaching was originally from Pakistan.

“He is a good person – and if he’s not or if I dont’ feel comfortable chatting with him later, I can always block or unfriend him,” my mind kept telling and influencing the nerves to accept his friend’s request – so I did. Yes I did eventually!! – its not a victory I know but I am surprised that I accepted a stranger’s friend request because of Buddha’s.

Today, we are good friends, though virtual but in real sense and I am happy. “Buddha, guided me in finding a good friend,” my inner self always asserts.

~Mea~

*Edited by Mr.F

Persuading A Broken Heart

Persuading A Broken Heart!!

"Persuading A Broken Heart" was my first write-up wrote in the middle of the night where everyone else were sleeping soundly. Frankly speaking, my new added Facebook acquaintance, a man from Mingora, Pakistan was my motivator. He was a teacher, a writer, an author and also a mentor. Chatting with him gave confident in me to do more works in writing - He is Fazal Khaliq. To know him more, here's a book that he recently wrote - The Uddiyana Kingdom, the forgotten holy land of Swat valley. 

Trying to twist your fingers in up side position to touch your own arm is the hardship i got when doing writing - That's what i told him when i got frustrated in writing.

"Hahaha...don't take too serious. Just take it light and you will write" he replied. 

Writing can be learn but what matters the most is "are you a storyteller?" - This statement from Murky Clarity motivates a lot too and also challenge me to do more writings. Tips and examples in his blog was so inspiring!! 

"Writer did not born and writing can be learn. Its the matter of how motivated you are" - (reminder to myself)

~mea~

**Poem Edited by Mr.F**